Monday, May 14, 2007 @ 1:07 PM
Its monday and yesterday was mother's day.Usually mother's day should be happy and I guess almost everyone had a great day but mine was a disaster.hahaas.
The mood was totally spoiled by me.I have so much troubles at home and it is getting worse.Its the first time I was ever beaten by my dad hands on.haha.I really wanted to walk out of this family.It never felt like one and it never was right for me to be here.At least thats wad I am feeling now.
Anyone knows what's the feeling like? Maybe some ppl out there experience the same as me and some just seems to have the perfect family.But mine totally doesn't feel like a home or family to me.
Thoughts about retaliating my dad was in my head.Wanted to turn around and start beating the crap out of him but I dun think I haf the guts to do it.Tho I have been waiting so long for him to make the first move so I can continue the second on him.
Well sometime its just me being so damn rude but I can't help it when I see the way he treats me.I am a robot and a slave that should be listening to his every command but I am not.I have a mind and heart , I can feel and I can think.So what happens when a robot fail to function? They get dispose of....and all this time I wasn't 'dispose' off was just because I am his fucking son??? Yup thats what he said....'just becos I am his fucking son'...How encouraging and comforting that was huh.....
Lost my mood in everything....
Theres only one thing in my mind now....
6 more days to go....hope to see you soon
